What I've learned from deprioritizing alcohol.
I feel this deep draw to share on a more intimate level. Most of what I preach is about tangible toxin removal, but lately it’s shifted into a mental and spiritual awakening. So many of the aligned connections and resources I have gained have been through what I now see as divine intervention, but often the conduit is formed when we open and share the parts of us that are not the facade of perfection, which often can be society’s focus. This year while sharing often and openly, I found myself navigating the most isolating and transformative chapter of my life journey in many facets honestly. Thinking back now, many of the path altering shifts I noticed came in this new version I started creating from my heart – which would not be feasible without removing alcohol, as a start. Many of us have connected on this topic, so it felt right as I embark on this transformative part of the journey to share with you my experience more openly.
In general, alcohol does not work with my body chemistry. Does it work with anyone’s, honestly? Or are we just building tolerance and reliance on poison as proper functioning? – that alone makes you think – majorly. I have spent more than a decade now in a fast paced corporate environment, many nights and weekends spent entertaining – each dinner, each sip, each conversation removing me further from my true being. Energy and alcohol hangovers became a normal part of functioning. That’s the thing about doing spiritual work, if you are really dialing in, it's a matter of time until you are forced to make conscious choices in order to shift the programming … if not, we stay the same completely! Hence why I have noticed and taken pity on many who have come before me in any corporate environment in the United States – mindfulness, peace, and clarity taking the furthest backseat to forced performance running on synthetic adrenaline and ego trips. The more intuitively I studied high performers, the more I realized that most corporate environments are not conducive to the type of discipline that gives us lasting energy to succeed – in fact the higher I climbed – the more this became starkly challenging. I found myself getting more and more migraines, suffering from what felt like hellish hangovers that others weren’t getting. What I didn’t realize then, was that I was on a much different journey, and alcohol was the catalyst to showing me – a practice my body was physically rejecting. But my mind was saying, “it’s happy hour, time for a glass of wine!” How was it that something that made me feel so awful the next day seemed like a lifeline mentally in the moment – the sense wasn’t sensing – or was it, baby?
Enter a random weeknight in January – I’ll never forget it because my body finally rejected this poison completely. After a long work night, I was drained energetically, more than I even realized, and had probably 4 drinks, tops, over many hours that eve. The next day, I couldn't exist, literally. I laid in my beautiful sanctuary of a home as my mind was splitting in half from excruciating pain – making me sick at least every hour because it was SO debilitating. I canceled my entire day – meanwhile – others went on functioning. “WHY ME?” I thought. Then quickly remembered – because I am focusing differently! And coincidentally (as the universe laughs) TCC energy was building. That day I committed to removing alcohol from all work functions completely, and 8 months later it's a former habit completely. Sounds easy – just removing that which isn’t serving – but this is the moment when I realized the power of the brain, and that frankly, I had a lifetime of software that needed reprogramming.
The first 2 weeks were tricky – like any unconscious habit would be. I started filling usual happy hours with healing activities like hiking and yoga class and started to see my social circle shifting. My brain chemistry was not used to the new more healing choice I was making – and I realized did not come freely. I heard the ego in my head saying, “how good would it feel to have a glass of wine with this sunset?”, but deeper, I knew it didn’t serve me – so I forced myself to choose differently. This conscious choice I was making daily, for me, became the catalyst to the incredible power of the brain we are capable of awakening, even just briefly. I started showing up in traditional social settings differently, which led to engaging in new conversations. I found myself becoming a hot tea connoisseur, and choosing restaurants to entertain based on the nourishment they offer and assuring I would be home for my nighttime routine that so deeply served me. I noticed others intrigued by the choices I was making – but often finding it easier to crack a joke or offer peer pressure to join them. But I stuck to a quote I remembered in those early moments: “the only certainty about following the crowd is that you will all get there together”. Deeply, in my heart, I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew it was bigger. So, I stayed focused, and that’s where the shift started …
As Michael Singer wrote in the Surrender Experiment – “Was it possible that life could give us more than what we could take for ourselves?”. As I started to let go, the magic started to unfold which I can see clearly now, in hindsight, of course. The time I was wasting in environments and conversations around the social norms became replaced with new more aligned connections. I started to learn, read, and study how I could navigate and merge the mass produced world I was immersed in with the critical need to heal as consumers – this mission was all that mattered. It was no more than a mere 2 weeks after releasing this toxic habit, did the universe provide a gift in a major form. Green Farm Juicery asked me to speak at their upcoming workshop – ME???????!!!!!!! I said yes before I even knew what I was doing – that’s the divine acting – and holy shit it's empowering. This first workshop I hosted was an out of body experience, for sure. I never felt more present in my fucking life or that there was anywhere else I was supposed to be that wintery blizzard of a February night, but fully immersed with my community, together, on the healing fight. From here, came the birth of The Cheeky Clean as a real entity, and I became a CEO and founder, officially.
The last 8 months have changed my life completely. My energy is improved, sleep is deeper, and mornings have become my favorite part of the day – now that I have eliminated drinking. It's been a catalyst for noticing what else is not serving me and the unexpected gifts and opportunities that came my way was astonishing to say the least. Would or could it have happened if I was still including low vibe habits? No chance, homies. Anyone who has ever operated from purpose knows, that what we get from the universe is what we give, and operating at our highest vibration is pertinent to elevating. Removing alcohol was just the beginning for me. As the momentum continues to build with helping our city heal, I am seeing the role I have and continue to play in my own suffering. As I started to really release that which wasn’t serving me, and taking ownership of the other changes I needed to make internally and externally, my reiki therapist and earth angel fell into my world to lovingly show me that all along, I was only surviving. She held space for me, and introduced me to resources that have changed my life completely. She has become the light I needed during my dark night of the soul's journey. Our work together is helping me release other toxic relationships, habits, and most importantly, a lifetime of fear based thinking that has stifled my creative ability. She has shown me that with love, gratitude, and a true commitment to our higher being, we are capable of that which we couldn't even fathom until we remove the barriers internally.
By no means am I healed – but, this year has awakened me to the unconscious choices I've made mentally based on a lifetime of programming and survival mode thinking. The “overthinking” that plagues me was diagnosed as OCD in third grade. At age 35, I’ve learned for the first time, the medicine that comes with meditating and mind training – the tools to shift our unproductive thinking which becomes the environment for which we can't accelerate. This upcoming week, I am embarking on my first Joe Dispenza retreat – committed to inviting in the full potential that exists within me by choosing love, completely. An entire life changing, but removing this one little habit is a tangible experience that shows me it’s possible to shift, and I am passionate about sharing it. I can't help but think what disease could have been avoided in my loved ones had they gained the tools for inner peace – that’s all the motivation I need in the tough moments. While lonely at first, the road to becoming your highest version will always be worth it. Using this as a journal to where I am at in the process, and to remind myself of how much is possible, when we choose our future potential. Never judgment, just hope, in a new perspective.
Alignment comes by shifting our thinking. Our connections and support, together, means the world to me.
With Love, Light, & Evolution, Cheekies. ♥️